CLASSIFIEDOFFICIAL MEMO
FILED 08 / 22 / 1986
CODENAME // OPERATION FEATHERFALL
Birds Aren't Real
All avian wildlife replaced 1959–1971 with surveillance drones.
During the Eisenhower administration, REDACTED eliminated 12 billion birds and replaced them with charging-perch reconnaissance units. The "bird poop" on your car is in fact tracking fluid.
They recharge on power lines. Watch them. They do not .
If a pigeon stares at you for more than REDACTED seconds, you are flagged.
[HINT: certain words in this document, when clicked, recover additional pages.]
END OF DOCUMENTOPERATION FEATHERFALL