TOP SECRET // EYES ONLYDECLASSIFIED 06/06/2026SIGNAL ACQUIREDTHEY ARE WATCHING$NUT IS HOLDINGDO NOT FORWARDPIGEONS LOG EVERYTHING
TOP SECRET // EYES ONLYDECLASSIFIED 06/06/2026SIGNAL ACQUIREDTHEY ARE WATCHING$NUT IS HOLDINGDO NOT FORWARDPIGEONS LOG EVERYTHING
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SECRETOFFICIAL MEMO
FILED 05/22/2018
CODENAME // COO-NET

The Pigeon Drone Network

Birds aren't real. Specifically, pigeons aren't real. They were replaced in 1973. They charge on power lines. They report to Langley.


See file BIRDS-AREN'T-REAL for general overview. This file deals with the operational specifics.\n\nPigeon-class drones (designation: COLUMBA-3B) carry 4MP cameras in each eye, 1 omnidirectional microphone in the chest cavity, and 1 directional thermal sensor in the beak. They transmit on 433MHz over a mesh network. Power: solar-charged battery + inductive charging from any 50/60Hz AC source ( on telephone wire for 22 minutes = full charge).\n\nOriginal deployment: 1973-1976, replaced 12 million wild pigeons in the contiguous United States. Subsequent deployments: 1984 (UK), 1991 (Germany after reunification), 2002 (Iraq, prior to invasion).\n\nWhy pigeons specifically? Pigeons are ignored. You don't look at them. You shoo them away. They walk under tables in restaurants. They sit on windowsills. They are the perfect surveillance platform precisely because you find them annoying.\n\nThe network reports to a facility in West Virginia. The facility has no signage. The facility receives 4.7TB of avian-collected data per day.

[HINT: certain words in this document, when clicked, recover additional pages.]

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